I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
