i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
