Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He better not be in your backpack
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
