he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
