I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
