This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize