You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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