just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
