One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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