garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
