Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
