Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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