but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
