i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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