I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
nutella sex= disaster
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wear drunk well.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
