I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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