You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
