Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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