I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize