I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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