So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
