woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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