"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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