you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
