I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
