I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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