I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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