But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my poor anus
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
