these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
