atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
