Please, let me fuck your mom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
