I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize