its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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