You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
