Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
