i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
