it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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