playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize