You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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