What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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