I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
