Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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