im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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