I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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