Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
