How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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