I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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