I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
