He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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