I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
