R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bring money and cleavage
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize