Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
