The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
