Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
