I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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