I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
