Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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