break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
