i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
