just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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