Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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