I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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