so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
