my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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