I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
