Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
