Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
