I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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