there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
