sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
