Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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