you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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