come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
