Got a toothbrush?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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