tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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