She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
