I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
