He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize