im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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