she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
