So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
