I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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