and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We left the knife in your bed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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