Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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