I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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