Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize