im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
