Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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