the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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