I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
